Thankful.

I'm knee deep in work photos that I always forget about documenting our little life! I wish I did it more often, but I am so grateful for this blog I have to read through. My sweet Crew is very much into the chronological order of days, months, and seasons right now. So when I put up our Christmas tree a week after Halloween, he was upset! He said, "no mom, it goes Halloween, THANKSGIVING, and then Christmas." (I still put up the tree) but I was thankful for his quick reminder that I needed to still remember Thanksgiving. I came across an article somewhere on the internet that talked about mothers scouring Instagram and Pinterest for hours on end trying to curate a perfectly decorated home. For some reason I struggle with this a lot, so it was fitting that I came to this article. To sum it up, this mother didn't have a decorated home or the brand new "plain wooden toys" or white kitchen...but she had a lot of love to give her children, and they knew they were loved. They had a home, running water, beds, clothes and toys. They had parents who created a safe and loving environment. That's all they need. 

I knew all of these things already, and knew that I probably should calm it down with the house decor (it's just too fun) but I was so thankful for that post. I also know that a home that I create with beautiful things makes me very happy. There is a balance in all things, but I needed this shift in my perspective on mothering and homemaking, and for that, I am thankful. 

I am getting very excited to be up North with my family for Thanksgiving, and finally get to feel some cool weather with the kids. They are excited to be all bundled up in coats. I love being their mother.

My heart is full this week! 

Home.

Running nearly on empty like most of us young mothers are. I have a million things shoved into one tiny spot in my brain...but I am so happy to be back home with my cute babies. I think that's one healthy thing that comes with going on vacation. When I get back, I'm just recharged and ready to take on my role again! I'm a little frazzled today so naturally I missed an important event that goes on in my ward at church. It's important to me at least, and I can't even believe I forgot about it. I'm really doing awesome with the "first impressions" thing. 

I came across this quote and loved it dearly. There are so many little, tender moments in our lives that make it that much sweeter. 

Hoping to get my trip posts up...but in the meantime, here is one of my favorite memories from that trip.  (I can just picture Ross & Demelza running through the grass hand-in-hand. Sort of in love with Poldark lately)

"Like happiness, holiness is always tied to little gestures. 

These little gestures are those we learn at home, in the family; they get lost amid all the other things we do, yet they do make each day different. 

They are the quiet things done by mothers and grandmothers, by fathers and grandfathers, by children, by siblings. 

They are little signs of tenderness, affection and compassion. 

Like the warm supper we look forward to at night, the early lunch awaiting someone who gets up early to go to work. 

Homely gestures. 

Like a blessing before we go to bed, or a hug after we return from a hard day’s work. "

-Pope Francis-

The Last Day in June

 Today was one of those days where I felt overrun, overstimulated, and just plain tired! All of our days blend into 1 long week out here, so I actually really never know what the date is. So today I panicked a little when I realized tomorrow is July 1st. I cannot believe that half of the year is gone. Anyways, I scrambled to find us something to do on the 4th of July. (hoping I'm brave enough to drive downtown with the kids and catch a parade) and then it was off to grab donuts with the kids. One of my many, many weaknesses are donuts. I don't think I can adequately explain my love for them on here. I found a really good donut shop here in town, and of course it's cute, and of course I didn't take a picture because my stage of life is a tad crazy out in public. But...it was cute! And the donuts were amazing, so that's a win in my book. 

After, we headed straight home for naps. I really wish Laney would take more naps, but we are lucky if we can get that #threenager to nap once a week. Peter slept great, and we had a pretty good quiet time. I indulged in a book I've been reading on parenting. I am currently reading 2 of them, plus a million podcasts...so I'm sort of buried in that right now. As I should be. I feel like I need to write a whole different post on what I'm learning, but so far I'm loving it! When Peter was awake from his nap, each child was crying over something different. And then Laney bit Crew on his back...and that was the breaking point for us all. Guess what though? I didn't completely lose it. At all. (praise those books) Instead, I said calmly and sweetly, "Ok guys! We are going to all sit in a circle and go around and tell each person what we love about them!" (which came out of nowhere. I was surprised that I came up with that. Ha!) Crew and Laney both looked at me with huge, and confused eyes. It worked. They said the sweetest things about each other right after they just had this gigantic meltdown. It was one of those times where I felt all of us encircled in the arms of Heaven above for a moment. This is what it's all about! Sibling rivalry is real, and we are entering into that stage. It's so so hard, and something that I wish we didn't have to go through. I'm just trying my hardest to make sure that my kids love each other, and think the world of each other. We will have good moments and I am going to record all that I can about them! So today was great. 

I really love these 3, and I especially love watching Peter try to keep up with the older two.

Easter 2017

This day had me experiencing so many different emotions! Part of me doesn't even want to write down the total truth, but then I'm sure I'll look back on it, and laugh. (maybe)

The week started off really well. Crew loved the Easter Week poster, and really enjoyed talking about the events that happened during that week. He was always so excited to hang the pictures up and ask a million questions. It made our nights run a little smoother. 

My heart was feeling so much love for the Savior and my family during this week, and I was just all around pretty happy in general! Win win!

Then Thursday hit. The last day that Alex would be here all summer long. It just flipped my week nearly upside down, not to sound too dramatic. But dangit! We love this guy. He is the one who helps me stay positive, and happy. He is my biggest supporter and motivator, and to not see him on the daily is just sort of hard. So that dampened my mood a bit. (moods are tricky. I could write a whole post on this last year with moods, but I'll save that for when I have the energy)

He left Friday. I know that part of the sadness I felt that day was Alex leaving, but it just grew harder throughout the day when Crew asked a million questions about Christ dying. Why he died. Where he went. I imagined that day to be gloomy for everyone who witnessed the crucifixion. I kept trying to refocus my thoughts on Him, and looking forward to Sunday morning.

Saturday rolls around and I scramble all day trying to find Easter basket goodies, stuff for family dinner, and my happy mood! 

Sunday morning the kids woke up sooooo early. Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed ready to find their baskets. I'm struggling to find balance with this holiday. It is not Christmas morning, and so I don't want my kids to grow up expecting a lot in their baskets each year...but it's fun spoiling them. As you all know. We kept it simple with 1 "toy", books and 2 eggs of jelly beans. I didn't even hide any eggs. 

 Really love his sleepy eyes.

 He was a STINKER during church. Whenever I tried to walk into class...he started screaming and yelling. Is it almost time for nursery yet? but at least he's darn cute.

I felt like during the day I was quietly throwing a "big girl fit" about certain things here and there. I was ultimately just really frustrated that my thoughts were all selfish, and not on the Savior. Like how I just desperately wanted a darn Easter picture with my kids...that didn't happen. Or how I really wanted one with Alex in it...which also didn't happen. OK how about one of just the kids? That one barely happened. 

My aunt during family dinner told a similar story about Easter Sunday when her kids were little. She said she was just so upset that she couldn't get anyone to smile at the camera. Then her husband told her that thats not what Easter was about. It's not about the perfect basket, photos, or outfits. I'm hoping with age, I will mature a little...and stop worrying about those things. I loved hearing her perspective though, and felt good that I wasn't alone in my thinking! 

We spent the evening with my family that I have here in Arizona. It was SO good to just have everyone together. It's so fun for my kids to have so many cousins around their age to play with. Technically they are my cousins...but we just say "cousins" to keep it simple. Dinner was great. I loved seeing my kids just happy. Uncle Nate hid $10 in a glitter egg for each kiddo. He always did that growing up for us, so I loved seeing this tradition carried over to the next generation. 

I felt so much gratitude for my family that night. My grandpa shared a much needed spiritual message that put things into perspective for me. So thankful to have my Savior. I love my little family, and all of our crazy memories that we are making. Maybe Easter next year will be just a teeny bit more enjoyable? :)

I read this quote the other day and it's now one of my favorites: 

"The root cause of all human problems is estrangement from the Father, which began at the time of the Fall and continues each time any of us transgress the Father's laws. The root solution to this problem is found in the atonement of Christ. He atoned for both the fall of man through Adam's transgression and the fall of each individual transgression, if we will receive his gift through obedience to the principles and ordinances of the gospel." Steven R. Covey

Christ is the solution, and obedience to God's laws only brings blessings. 

Happy Birthday Baby Boy

He turned 1. I don't feel like I can truly express how I feel about this boy on here! He completes our family in the best way possible. His 1st year was full of crazy hard days for the both of us, but also full of the best days. We celebrated his sweet birthday at Mariah's house. Thankfully she decorated cute and had dinner ready! I think by birthday #2, I'll be ready for completing that task at our place HA! I just did not have it in me! 

We opened some presents up, had cake, and ended the night with all of the cousins in the bath. Nothing sweeter. It is the best living by family! 

At age one he almost slept through the night, had 4 teeth, took a few steps, and loved being held by mom! We love you sweet Peter boy! 

Thoughts

It's been a whirlwind in my head & heart these last few weeks. Sometimes I get in a slump, and can snap out of it fairly quickly, but this time around it's been really difficult! I can't put my finger on it, but I'm hoping whatever it is, that it passes quickly. We were lucky enough to spend a few days with some good friends of ours up in northern Arizona. The weather was just what we needed, and the wide open space cured our souls for the time being. It was so so good. Letting the kids run wild, and having time to talk with adults was needed. I am so behind on blogging (and everything else these days) but I'm hopeful that I will catch up soon! Feeling grateful for this month, and for the Holiday's that are right around the corner. I'm trying to soak up this next season as much as possible. This year has gone by way too fast. So far, this year has been my hardest, but I have learned so much about myself too during these rough moments. Excited to end the year on a good note, and change a few things for next year.

Happy November. 

Elephant.

What a week it has been. I don't even know where to start. I should be planning my lesson for Sunday...ya know, the day after tomorrow. But this can't wait. I feel like I have to just let it all out! A lot of crummy things have happened this week, but it could always be worse. My hard drive crashed. Luckily, I am able to save everything I have on it. My house this week is in an awful condition, and I'm at my breaking point. My photos and files on my computer are so disorganized that I just want to burn it up and start over. I've printed the photos I want, and Instagrammed the crap out of our lives....s who needs them! (I'm slightly kidding...)

 But really, I feel like this week I've got a giant elephant sitting on my chest, my brain is so foggy, and my kitchen floors just keep getting stickier. I think the most frustrating thing about all of this is that every day I am working hard. I am literally so busy....but I'm not seeing my work pay off. My computer is still a mess, my house is a mess, and I still have a lesson that is not planned. Some other things happened with my photography stuff that about sent me into a fit of rage, sadness, and just utter disappointment. I'm a "jump in with both feet" kind of girl, but often times, I am forced to backtrack because I didn't do it the right way the first time. (when will I learn?...) 

I'm hopeful that one day I will have my decorated, neat and tidy home. Maybe my kids will still be little, or maybe they will be grown and moved out by that point. I will have my computer organized...it's just going to take hours and hours of rearranging things. I will start to manage my time better. I hope! BUT I cannot tell you what's taking up my time. I am just running in circles while my children keep undoing everything I've done. Any advice is appreciated. I wish I was stronger in the organizing area of my life, and maybe one day, I will be. 

Having 3 wild, and busy children is really so fun. I'm just trying to figure out what works best for me, and them. How do I have a clean space but still play with them? (when I clean...they tend to destroy the room I cleaned up before) I also have a very creative 4 year old who loves to draw, build forts, play dress up in his own clothes (worst thing ever), and constantly be moving all the time.

Also, going to bed after 1am AND waking up with a baby in the night is probably not helping. 

I'm not looking for a pity party. I'm just saying that life happens. It's so crazy hard. I tend to beat myself up over things way too often, but I need to be better. I need to create systems in our home that make me happy. I've heard the saying too much lately, "oh just enjoy them while they're little, they grow so fast." I DO! Trust me, but I will enjoy all of this even more if things are in their places, my files are all backed up and organized, and if we have family systems in place that make our world go around. I will be happier; which will make them happier. 

So I think I'm asking for like 1 week to myself to get things in order. Is that too much to ask? (yes.)

sigh. 

Advice is welcomed!

 I really really really can't get enough of them though. Every single day they make me so happy..and all the other little feelings that go along with motherhood. (ha)

Hard Days

These last few days have been super challenging for me. I'd like to blame it on Peter for learning how to roll over...who knew a fun trick like that could make things so difficult. 

He rolls in his bed. 

He rolls out of his bouncer. 

He rolls when I try to change his diaper. 

Peter--you're too young for cool tricks like that!

(You're siblings never rolled over, so this is a new thing for all of us.)

Trying to put a baby to bed without a blanket, who is usually swaddled, is hard. So we've started crying it out now. Judge me if you will, but by the third, I don't have time to sit and rock for hours. Tonight he cried less, and fell right asleep. Probably due to that fact that he only napped for O N E hour today. All day. Maybe I'll pull out those trusty sleep books again...

The heat is already taking a toll, and makes this mama frustrated. It's hard running errands with whiny, sweaty kiddos. 

Another sweet child of mine admitted that they didn't like this house, and that they wanted to live with their dad....oh and that I was hated. I thought that sort of talk didn't come for another few years! Good thing the sweet times outweigh the bad. 

So Alex bought me some much needed flowers. I keep them in the only clean room in the house.

 (not exaggerating there) Ok ok ok, actually his debit card bought me flowers, heck, it's all the same thing. The flowers remind me that hard days always pass. I always underestimate what fresh flowers does to my mood. 

I'll be buying more weekly. 

(happy mama/wife, happy life.)