Elephant.

What a week it has been. I don't even know where to start. I should be planning my lesson for Sunday...ya know, the day after tomorrow. But this can't wait. I feel like I have to just let it all out! A lot of crummy things have happened this week, but it could always be worse. My hard drive crashed. Luckily, I am able to save everything I have on it. My house this week is in an awful condition, and I'm at my breaking point. My photos and files on my computer are so disorganized that I just want to burn it up and start over. I've printed the photos I want, and Instagrammed the crap out of our lives....s who needs them! (I'm slightly kidding...)

 But really, I feel like this week I've got a giant elephant sitting on my chest, my brain is so foggy, and my kitchen floors just keep getting stickier. I think the most frustrating thing about all of this is that every day I am working hard. I am literally so busy....but I'm not seeing my work pay off. My computer is still a mess, my house is a mess, and I still have a lesson that is not planned. Some other things happened with my photography stuff that about sent me into a fit of rage, sadness, and just utter disappointment. I'm a "jump in with both feet" kind of girl, but often times, I am forced to backtrack because I didn't do it the right way the first time. (when will I learn?...) 

I'm hopeful that one day I will have my decorated, neat and tidy home. Maybe my kids will still be little, or maybe they will be grown and moved out by that point. I will have my computer organized...it's just going to take hours and hours of rearranging things. I will start to manage my time better. I hope! BUT I cannot tell you what's taking up my time. I am just running in circles while my children keep undoing everything I've done. Any advice is appreciated. I wish I was stronger in the organizing area of my life, and maybe one day, I will be. 

Having 3 wild, and busy children is really so fun. I'm just trying to figure out what works best for me, and them. How do I have a clean space but still play with them? (when I clean...they tend to destroy the room I cleaned up before) I also have a very creative 4 year old who loves to draw, build forts, play dress up in his own clothes (worst thing ever), and constantly be moving all the time.

Also, going to bed after 1am AND waking up with a baby in the night is probably not helping. 

I'm not looking for a pity party. I'm just saying that life happens. It's so crazy hard. I tend to beat myself up over things way too often, but I need to be better. I need to create systems in our home that make me happy. I've heard the saying too much lately, "oh just enjoy them while they're little, they grow so fast." I DO! Trust me, but I will enjoy all of this even more if things are in their places, my files are all backed up and organized, and if we have family systems in place that make our world go around. I will be happier; which will make them happier. 

So I think I'm asking for like 1 week to myself to get things in order. Is that too much to ask? (yes.)

sigh. 

Advice is welcomed!

 I really really really can't get enough of them though. Every single day they make me so happy..and all the other little feelings that go along with motherhood. (ha)