I am a little Crazy

Man these last few days have been rough to say the least.

I have been yelling way too much at Crew. Way too much. My pregnant hormonal self doesn't have a lot of patience these days for any type of crying, whining, or tugging on my leg every second. I feel bad. I really do. 

No one has ever seen me freak out before...like really freak out. (well Alex has) Ya know, where your face turns bright red, your screaming and throwing objects around the room? Growing up I may or may not have put a few huge holes in the wall...and I may or may not have done that while married too. Not my proudest moments...and the swear words? Don't even bother asking me if I have used a few. Of course I have. I am not the classiest fit thrower either. 

I just feel like I have to be the one who is always emotionally and mentally in check so that others around me can have bad days. Then all my bad days go unnoticed until I blow up. Literally. I don't say nice things and I don't do nice things either. Little embarrassing, but hey it happens to the best of us I guess. 

I feel bad for Crewbear. He is the most forgiving person in the world and still loves me after I have thrown him (literally) in time out for the 80th time that day. He always wants to give me kisses and hugs. It's way cute. Did I ever mention that he found the enchilada sauce the other day in the trash and dumped the rest out all over the couch, himself and the carpet? All in a matter of 20 seconds. I was outside our door grabbing the groceries on the floor. (carrying groceries up to the 3rd floor with a child in tow and one in my belly is the worst) 

We miss family, Alex does too! 

BLAH 

Im so negative!

Hopefully I'll get out of this lame slump and pretend to be the most awesome superwife and mom there is. 

Our Cute Toddler

Crew has been so funny lately! When he wakes up in the morning the very first thing he says is "DADA!!!" and he won't stop saying it until I take him to our room and have him lay by Alex. It is the cutest thing. Alex had to leave super early for work today so when Crew woke up he wasn't here...sad way to start the day for this toddler! 

He points to our things (makeup, cologne, water bottle, tabasco...) and says who it belongs to. (mama or dada) He is so proud of himself...and he is always right! 

We always read books before bed, then brush teeth, and then say prayers when I tuck him in. The other night I was in a rush to put him down (maybe I had to pee or something for the 80th time) but he said "prayer?!" when I was leaving the room. I love this boy to pieces! So we said prayer...and we always have to remember to thank Heavenly Father for Moroni...he is obsessed with him. Its cute. 

Speaking of Moroni, Crew will point to any temple and say "nononi" or something to that effect. We clearly understand him. When he sees the Disney castle on the TV before a movie, he freaks out and says "nononi" and claps. I'm glad he is picking up something from our scripture studies..haha 

There is an airport pretty close to us and so there are always at least 3-4 airplanes in the sky that we can see. Crew loves them and points to them in the sky whenever he sees one. He is getting better at saying airplane too!

Ok last cute story! I took him to the bookstore with me and he politely waved to every single person he saw, and said "hi" in the sweetest voice. Most people will just melt, because then he proceeds to blow them a kiss. If the person didn't hear him, he will stand there until they acknowledge his presence. So he patiently says "hi" over and over...one cute old lady came back over to us and asked me how he knew to blow her a kiss? I told her that he just does that whenever he says hi to someone, and then she smiled and told me how much she needed that sweet kiss today. Talk about making my mama heart melt into pieces! 

Don't ya want to kiss him??

 I couldn't pass up the vintage phone from Fischer Price...he loves it. Hopefully we will be able to collect all the old vintage toys one day! They are just too adorable. 

and these bad boys? Im convinced that his feet have not changed since he was born. They are still so dang squishy and yummy. 

His poor knee! 

Poor kid is always falling. I kid you not...anywhere we go, he falls. We went to the park today and that's all he did! Im just so glad he never hit his head! He doesn't cry or make a fuss at all. He just get's up and says "ok?" (he asks himself if he is ok...) and then runs off! Maybe this is why boys are so much easier than girls people say? I think if a little girl fell as much as he did, she would be an absolute wreck! Can't wait for that day...

Do The Best You Can

So I decided to take a little break from blogging a while back and now I can't access my other blog. I guess it got deleted off of blogger because I hadn't logged on in X amount of days. So...Im starting over? Good and bad I guess!

Ask me why I took a break? I don't even know. It felt nice though.

Mothers Day was a couple days ago and Im just now getting a chance to think about it. It was a nice day, Alex and Crew spoiled me...with a new pillow. We went downtown to Chicago and walked around, and then it started pouring rain...so we ran back to the train station to find out we took the wrong train and missed the right one. So we were stuck...but we were with good company so it was ok! Crew was hard that day, not hard, just a handful I guess. He loved getting outside and seeing all of the people and traffic. That stimulation is good for him...but Im not sure if we will get to the city that often.

I really do love being a mom. It is the most rewarding calling I will ever have. Recently I have been bogged down a little (ok a lot) with my role and calling as a mother though. I look around me and see so many women who are accomplished at their age. Im 20 with 1.5 kids...plugging through school, sometimes don't wear makeup, sit in pjs all day, maybe run a few errands, and hardly make dinner. Yeah...you could say I didn't feel the best about myself until I brought up my feelings to the hubs. He said some things that reassured me of this calling in life. Lately I look down at my growing belly and then see the toddler whining and clinging to my legs. I think "what did I get myself into" haha That sounds pretty bad. Im just amazed that at my young age I have almost 2 KIDS! That's crazy! I was a stellar babysitter...so I thought I had this motherhood thing in the bag. My mom made it look so easy dealing with us and mothering us...so obviously I could do it. Boy was I wrong! I already feel so helpless somedays when Crew is literally whining all day, and my body is in pain from carrying a little human inside. She isn't even born yet and Im already feeling this way.

I am so overwhelmed with how much I need to teach my children. I can only hope and pray that they love and listen to me...but not only me, their Heavenly Father. Crew has FINALLY started to say "please" when we ask him to. It might not seem like a big deal but it is to us. We have a tiny window to teach kids manners from a young age...so when he would just yell "NO!" when we asked him, I was devastated. Great. I already failed at something and he isn't even 2. Im just so glad that we stuck to our guns and made him say please, because now he says it in the sweetest little voice. He really is good natured and a sweet little boy. I just get so overwhelmed with how much energy he has.

After feeling so down about some things and trying to get over it...Crew would not go to sleep last night. Great. I was so looking forward to a bath, my book and bed after a long long day. Selfish I know! There was a loud thunderstorm so he was pretty scared. He kept asking for "pop" which is the popcorn song that he loves and a few other books. He was so cuddly and sweet with me. I felt so much love for my calling in that moment. How lucky am I to be the one to console my children when they need it most? How lucky am I to be the one to sing their favorite song to them? How lucky am I to be able to kiss their "owies" and they magically go away? This calling is truly a blessing in my life. I have always known that this is what I was meant to do. Im just a young mom who needs to be reminded sometimes of that.

I am aware that harder times will come...especially after the baby is born. My children will be little for only a short time, so I just need to laugh during the hard times, order take-out when dinner just isn't happening, and start over the next day with a better attitude! I am so grateful that I can do this with my sweet husband by my side too. He is my biggest fan and always gives me the best compliments, and encouragement.

"Do the best you can through these years, but whatever else you do, cherish that role that is so uniquely yours and for which heaven itself sends angels to watch over you and your little ones."-Elder Holland

That quote came from one of my most favorite talks ever given...of course by Elder Holland. I know that this time in our lives will end so quickly. I will be in my clean house one day just wishing that I had little handprints all over the appliances, toys strewn throughout the house, and snacks left out for me to step on and smash. (ok maybe not the snack part) 

xoxo