This day had me experiencing so many different emotions! Part of me doesn't even want to write down the total truth, but then I'm sure I'll look back on it, and laugh. (maybe)
The week started off really well. Crew loved the Easter Week poster, and really enjoyed talking about the events that happened during that week. He was always so excited to hang the pictures up and ask a million questions. It made our nights run a little smoother.
My heart was feeling so much love for the Savior and my family during this week, and I was just all around pretty happy in general! Win win!
Then Thursday hit. The last day that Alex would be here all summer long. It just flipped my week nearly upside down, not to sound too dramatic. But dangit! We love this guy. He is the one who helps me stay positive, and happy. He is my biggest supporter and motivator, and to not see him on the daily is just sort of hard. So that dampened my mood a bit. (moods are tricky. I could write a whole post on this last year with moods, but I'll save that for when I have the energy)
He left Friday. I know that part of the sadness I felt that day was Alex leaving, but it just grew harder throughout the day when Crew asked a million questions about Christ dying. Why he died. Where he went. I imagined that day to be gloomy for everyone who witnessed the crucifixion. I kept trying to refocus my thoughts on Him, and looking forward to Sunday morning.
Saturday rolls around and I scramble all day trying to find Easter basket goodies, stuff for family dinner, and my happy mood!
Sunday morning the kids woke up sooooo early. Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed ready to find their baskets. I'm struggling to find balance with this holiday. It is not Christmas morning, and so I don't want my kids to grow up expecting a lot in their baskets each year...but it's fun spoiling them. As you all know. We kept it simple with 1 "toy", books and 2 eggs of jelly beans. I didn't even hide any eggs.
Really love his sleepy eyes.
He was a STINKER during church. Whenever I tried to walk into class...he started screaming and yelling. Is it almost time for nursery yet? but at least he's darn cute.
I felt like during the day I was quietly throwing a "big girl fit" about certain things here and there. I was ultimately just really frustrated that my thoughts were all selfish, and not on the Savior. Like how I just desperately wanted a darn Easter picture with my kids...that didn't happen. Or how I really wanted one with Alex in it...which also didn't happen. OK how about one of just the kids? That one barely happened.
My aunt during family dinner told a similar story about Easter Sunday when her kids were little. She said she was just so upset that she couldn't get anyone to smile at the camera. Then her husband told her that thats not what Easter was about. It's not about the perfect basket, photos, or outfits. I'm hoping with age, I will mature a little...and stop worrying about those things. I loved hearing her perspective though, and felt good that I wasn't alone in my thinking!
We spent the evening with my family that I have here in Arizona. It was SO good to just have everyone together. It's so fun for my kids to have so many cousins around their age to play with. Technically they are my cousins...but we just say "cousins" to keep it simple. Dinner was great. I loved seeing my kids just happy. Uncle Nate hid $10 in a glitter egg for each kiddo. He always did that growing up for us, so I loved seeing this tradition carried over to the next generation.
I felt so much gratitude for my family that night. My grandpa shared a much needed spiritual message that put things into perspective for me. So thankful to have my Savior. I love my little family, and all of our crazy memories that we are making. Maybe Easter next year will be just a teeny bit more enjoyable? :)
I read this quote the other day and it's now one of my favorites:
"The root cause of all human problems is estrangement from the Father, which began at the time of the Fall and continues each time any of us transgress the Father's laws. The root solution to this problem is found in the atonement of Christ. He atoned for both the fall of man through Adam's transgression and the fall of each individual transgression, if we will receive his gift through obedience to the principles and ordinances of the gospel." Steven R. Covey
Christ is the solution, and obedience to God's laws only brings blessings.
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