Kill the Ipad!

I've been wanting to write an honest post about motherhood lately but don't really know how to write it up. Let me just start out by saying I really do love being a mom and wife. Totally love it and I am so grateful for what I have. Mothering Crew lately has been a bit of a challenge and one that I was not prepared for. As a baby he really was so easy and so sweet to us. He was a fun toddler and all around a great little boy. He still IS! He is just turning 3 in a month. He is no longer a toddler anymore and I'm still trying to accept that. Crew needs my attention in ways that are different from the attention I give Laney. It's hard being stretched between 2 little kids who are in different stages of life. (I can handle 3 right?)

I am grateful for technology and social media to an extent these days. However right now in our stage of life they are causing more harm than good I believe. Crew knows how to get whatever show he wants on the ipad. (I blame that on being sick, tired and pregnant) Now that I'm feeling a little better I feel terribly guilty for letting him even see an ipad. I cannot and refuse to shelter my children from technology. I want to teach them how to use it for good and how to moderate the use of it. Guess what though? 2 year olds do not understand that. He just knows he wants a show and wants it immediately. Today it's pouring rain and he is so bored with his toys...so he's watching shows. Days like today I totally don't care. Heck! I'm so bored out here and so tired of the toys we have! Anything we do out here costs money so I can't go out every single day to entertain my kids. I need to do a better job of teaching them how to entertain themselves. He really does do a fine job of doing that but we are just at the end of our rope out here. I'm hoping that when we get home, the darn ipad can disappear until next summer. We also don't live with a TV over summers so the ipad is our only source for movies.

I'm so thankful I'm not doing this parenting gig alone because that would be very hard. I feel that I am a great parent and mom when it comes to cleaning, feeding the kids and making sure their basic needs are met. Alex is a much better parent with handling discipline and difficult situations. He knows how to remain level headed and not lose his cool. I am learning how to be a mother from him daily! He's just so good at what he does. I know that Crew is our first born and we are both learning how to raise him. The more children we have, the more experience we will have and I feel that my patience will become better with each child. (crossing fingers) I didn't think I would be the mom who "lost it" at times and it honestly makes me so sad. I don't like the person I am when I lose all patience with the kids. I am learning. I'm not perfect, and it certainly doesn't help to compare myself to other mothers. I don't know what's going on in their life and don't really need to know. I just need to focus on what's best for my children and growing family.

I love you Crew more than you know.