Peter's Birth

I'm trying to write this all down while it is still fresh in my mind!

When I found out I was pregnant with our third, I knew I wanted everything about this experience to be different than my other two. So we decided to not find out the gender...and then I wanted to have a natural birth as well. Not finding out the gender was honestly super tough. I went back and forth for weeks on this. I made an appointment to find out, then I cancelled it, and then I made it again before I cancelled one last time. Then at 20 weeks we had the big ultrasound. I denied finding out the gender but then immediately regretted it when I got home! Needless to say--it IS fun knowing the gender and it really does help you prepare for the baby to be born. We won't be doing that again.

I went into this pregnancy wanting a natural birth but also not being upset if I ended up getting an epidural. I read a couple books, watched some crazy natural birthing videos, and talked to some friends about their experiences. That was the extent of my preparation. No weird birthing music, oils or doulas were in my plan. I felt pretty good about not having a set plan either since birth is so unpredictable.

***the story***

Toward the end of pregnancy (35 weeks to be exact) I became very uncomfortable. I knew that I had to have this baby early but I wasn't sure how early it would come. I saw midwives my entire pregnancy (seriously love them) so I also wasn't getting my dilation checked either. I was antsy to know but at the same time it kept me very patient. At the end of my 38 week I about had it! Saturday night came and I knew that this baby was coming soon. I really wanted to go into labor Sunday because my favorite midwife was on call. Up until this point I hadn't walked or done any crazy labor inducing things. I'm not sure why...but I was content going the all natural route of letting my body do it's thing. Saturday night though I was done. So I drank the good ol' castor oil. Only 2 tablespoons but that seemed to do the trick.

I was up all night with intense contractions. I was surprised with how quickly they came on! I took 4 baths that night and bounced on the exercise ball. Whenever I tried to lay down the contractions became a lot worse. So sleep really didn't happen. Sunday morning I told Alex that I think we should go into the hospital to get checked. I called my midwife and she said I sounded like I was in early labor and to call back later. My contractions spread out a bit but when they came, they were painful. Finally around 12 I told her we were coming into triage to get checked. She agreed to meet us there. I always feel SO dumb going in because I look fine to everyone else. I don't look like a woman in labor. So of course I second guess myself the entire way to the hospital and just want to turn around! We get there and sure enough I am almost 7cm dilated and 100% effaced. So my midwife said I was definitely having this baby today. She broke my water around 1 and then left Alex and I alone in our room to labor through it all!

I denied getting an IV placed and that was the best decision ever. It completely changes things when you aren't hooked up to anything. It didn't feel so "medical." At this point I could handle my contractions just fine, but only on the birthing ball. Alex's mom and sisters kept us company for a good chunk of my labor. That seriously helped keep me occupied. They would keep talking while I silently bounced/breathed through a contraction, and then we would pick up the conversation again. They left around 4 to get dinner started. At 4:30pm the nurse came back in so she could check Peter's heartbeat. At this point my contractions were nearly on top of each other and I started to become scared. Scared of what was to come and terrified of the pain I was already in. I didn't voice that to anyone because it was negative and wouldn't get me very far in the birth I wanted.

I decided to have my midwife check my cervix after the nurse took the heartbeat. Getting off of that ball was so painful but I was excited to know how far I had come. She checked me and said I was at an 8. I was honestly a little bummed but knew I could power through the rest. I literally sat up in the bed to get back on the ball when my body changed course. The nurse had started to fill up the bath because I wanted to labor in that...but when they saw me sit up they turned it off. I can't even begin to describe the pain I felt in that moment. I immediately became nauseas and turned into a different person. I was kneeling on the bed, holding onto Alex's neck begging for an epidural. I wasn't crying but I was hyperventilating while pleading my midwife to give me drugs.

At that moment they knew I was in transition...but I had no clue what was going on. I felt out of control and could not get my bearings straight. I started to push because I felt like it. My midwife was so calm through it all and told me to lay back so she could see if the head was coming out. Indeed it WAS! Obviously. So I laid there pushing so hard but I was still begging for medicine haha Looking back...it was pretty funny. I kept saying things like, "just take it out!" "my crotch hurts!!" Well duh of course it hurts.

4:43pm our sweet Peter boy was born. It was the coolest feeling having him natural. No I didn't feel the burning ring of fire that people talk about. It felt SO good to push and feel his body leave mine. Man I could get all emotional about it now. Alex was so so great during all of this. I thought I was going to kill him with how hard I was squeezing his hand...arm...and neck. (haha) He kept telling me positive things, and being so patient and calm while I was literally losing control. The nurse was a little panicked because A) I was bleeding a lot and B) she didn't have time to call the baby nurses to take care of Peter. SO...she was trying to check him out all while assessing me. (My midwife was there too but she was delivering the placenta.) I ended up getting a shot in my leg and an IV put in of pitocin to stop the bleeding. My nurse was so calm and did a great job with it all. I wasn't worried one bit about anything the entire time. (nurses are pretty darn incredible. There is no way I could ever do their job.)

They left us alone for a bit while we met our new son. I got to come home the next day around 5pm. This experience was our best, despite the 10 minutes of pain I felt while delivering him. I'm still on the fence about delivering another baby natural again...but I would probably do it. Knowing that my births are fast, it's actually better for me to go all natural. Recovery is going great and we are just loving on our little Peter boy.

I cannot say enough good things about my midwife and just the whole experience! Yes it hurt so so bad but it was the coolest feeling in the world too. I'll put up some pictures of our hospital stay in the next post!