Lately

I don't really know how to put my thought into words about our little life lately. There is so much I could say but maybe shouldn't? It's hard to know how much to throw out on the internet. 

Our days are filled with so much love, laughter, kisses, snuggles, trains, baby dolls, and much more. I love playing with these kids all day. I love that I can be there to watch them grow and develop.

Our days are also extremely hard. I found myself blurting out to Alex that I honestly wasn't enjoying this stage of life. I felt/feel really bad for admitting it. I love our children more than anything in this world, but our days are so long. I know that the years are short, and I will miss this stage. I've just found that admitting the truth to myself is helping me get through it all. I'm needing to dig deep and find more patience each day. I'm learning that my children just want a simple "love" (snuggle/hug) from me sometimes and then they are on their way. I'm learning that taking time daily to spend time with each one of them is super important. I'm learning that I also can't do it all. I have learned that our days are very hard when we stay home all day. Going to a park, having a friend over, or going to lunch make the day so much better. (also-taking 3 kids, 3 and under out of the house is terrifying.)

I do this thing where I compare my weaknesses to other strengths and that's a bad combo. I am learning (with the help of Heavenly Father, and my husband--who is the best) that we are all here on earth with unique talents and abilities to serve one another. I have so many women around me who I look up to. I am learning to see their talents as blessings in my life. We are all here on earth trying to accomplish the same task. Raising successful families is so tough, but so rewarding and it can be fun if we let it! 

I'm learning to embrace the chaos and messes. Let go of things I can't really control.

I've got 3 healthy little kids who need a mom who tries her best each day. That's all I have to do. 

His dimple kills me.

This Peter boy has turned my hard days around so quickly. Nursing this sweetie is my favorite, but also the most challenging thing this time around. The other children know when I am feeding him, so they act out, fight, or make extreme messes. I'm learning to be ok with it, but I will admit that bottle feeding might be around the corner shortly. 

Peter is just the sweetest little boy, and he has some siblings who love him dearly. 

I do love my role as their mother, and it's ok to not love a stage of life. Right now it's hard and exhausting, but it will get better. It always has.